Anokhi DIY / Culture & Lifestyle / How To Deal With Jealousy In Romantic Relationships

How To Deal With Jealousy In Romantic Relationships

Anokhi DIY Culture & Lifestyle Mar 22, 2015


    Navigate Through Your Jealousy For A Healthy Relationship 

    If you're South Asian, you're well aware that jealousy is rampant in the culture — with people envying each other’s profession, status or wellbeing. I could write a whole blog on this cultural experience. However, today’s post is about feelings of jealousy in romantic relationships and how to navigate these feelings in a healthy way. 

    Have you found yourself getting pangs of jealousy when your partner is talking to the opposite sex, bringing out worries about your relationship? Well, let’s put your mind at ease. Feelings of jealousy are not entirely a bad thing. I know that sounds counterintuitive to how we were all brought up, so give me a moment here. Jealous feelings are not the same as jealous behaviours — just as feeling angry is different from acting in a hostile way. Your relationship is likely to face rough patches if you act on your jealousy by accusing your partner, taking on a passive-aggressive demeanour, seeking reassurance, or snooping around. 

    So first, stop and take heed of the insights below to understand your jealous feelings and how you can navigate through them in a way that's healthy for you and your relationship. 

    1.       Observe Your Jealousy

    This approach is all about applying mindfulness when you're experiencing strong emotions and observing them in order to weaken their power over you. Just because you feel jealous over your perceptions about your partner and an interaction doesn’t mean those thoughts are reality. By observing your thoughts and feelings about a situation, you will start to see things more clearly and move forward in a more productive way for the benefit of yourself and your relationship.

    2.       Jealousy Is an Indication that You Care

    This is why I'm not completely disregarding jealousy as a negative emotion, as it's an indication that you really care about your partner and want to ensure a monogamous relationship. Your feelings are telling you what you truly want and the values you adhere to in your relationship. Ask yourself why you feel jealous in order to get to the bottom of the issue. And if your sense of what's happening still bothers you and you want to address it in the context of your relationship, then you will need to express these feelings to your partner. The best way to begin the conversation is to find time to have a heart-to-heart. Simply start with, “I feel this way when this happens.” Don’t be afraid to talk about your feelings with your partner, as this is the true path to a healthy relationship. A truly caring and long-term partner will address your feelings and not make you feel bad about them. 

    3.       Be Comfortable with Uncertainty

    Jealousy is an emotion that looks for certainty. It's the need to know all the answers in life in order to feel secure. My advice is to begin feeling comfortable with uncertainty in life, as it's more freeing for both you and your partner and will allow you to enjoy your relationship more. By looking for certainty through consistent questioning or accusations, you will drive your partner away.  No one wants to be in a relationship where their integrity is constantly questioned. 

    Keep in mind that many of us have felt jealousy at one time or another. So, whenever lealousy decides to rear its head in your relationship, take the time to resolve your feelings from within before moving forward — or else your jealousy can quickly lead to a failed intimate relationship.

    Feature Image: boldsky.com

      Yvonne Sinniah

      Yvonne Sinniah

        Author

        Yvonne Sinniah is a Relations Advisor focusing on helping individuals achieve success in personal and professional environments.  She is on a mission to meet a need in today’s society where developing and sustaining meaningful relationships while on a journey to fulfill career and life ...

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